Quick Wit on parade!
Let's Go to Heaven
He who drinks gets drunk.
He who gets drunk falls asleep.
He who falls asleep does no sin.
He who does no sin goes to heaven.
So, let us drink and go to heaven.
Paddy Visits the Doctor
Paddy : "Doctor, when I press my arm it hurts, when I press my leg it hurts and when I press my chest it hurts."
Doctor : "Paddy, you have a broken finger!"
The Lottery Gets Him to Travel
A woman gets home, schreeches her car into the driveway, runs tinto the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags I won the damn lottery!"
The husband says,
"Ohmigod! No sh*t?! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
The wife yells back,
"It doesn't matter... just get the hell out!"
For those who know Orland
Heard on a public transportation vehicle while in Orlando:
"When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.
I you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch yur language. Thank you."
