Quick Wit on parade!
*****
Girl: Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boy: Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
*****
Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office, why?
Wife: When there's a problem, no matter how impossible, I'll say to myself "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
*****
Wife: What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
Hubby: Golfing with friends, honey.
Wife: What? Golfing at 2:00 a.m.?
Hubby: Yes, my dear ... we used night clubs.
*****
Teacher: Sam, you talk too much.
Sam: It's a family tradition.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Sam: Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher: What about your mother?
Sam: She's a woman.
*****
Priest: Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No, I don't have to ... my mom is a good cook.
*****
Patient: What're the chances of my recovering, doctor?
Doctor: 100%. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the 10th case I've treated. The others all died.
*****
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But Mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
*****
Father: Sam, let me see your report card.
Sam: Dad, my friend borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
******
Teacher: Which is more important, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: The moon.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun shines in the day time when we don't need it.
*****
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: Teacher.
*****
Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant. He's busy all the time, works all day and everyday. Then what happens?
Sam: He gets stepped on.
*****
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colours do you have?
*****
