A Few Thoughts
Basic Math
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Happiness
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Offspring
Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favourites, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.
Natural
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Argument
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after, well, that's the beginning of a new argument.
Closing Thought
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is everything!
